Blog for Better Living

Signs of a Trauma Bond

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | December 8, 2023

Do you wonder why you stay with someone who doesn’t treat you well? Have you asked yourself why you stay in painful relationships? Understanding the nature of the trauma bond might help you understand yourself and answer these questions. What is the Trauma Bond? Trauma bonding is an entanglement that keeps a person in a […]

Ever Been DARVO’d?

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | September 8, 2023

DARVO is an acronym that stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverses roles of Victim (you) & Offender (them). It is a manipulation technique used by individuals who are abusive, narcissistic, or who engage in other types of wrongdoing. The objective of this strategy is to shift the focus away from the offender by attacking the […]

Bullying, Relationships

Pride is a Drag!

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | June 2, 2023

It’s that time of year—National LGBTQ+ Pride Month! Every year, during the month of June, the LGBTQ+ community recognizes the influence that LGBTQ+ people and allies have around the world by celebrating in a number of different ways. And this year, I’m celebrating Drag! For me, drag is fun, creative, and playful, which is how […]

Anxiety, LGBTQ+, Personal Improvement

Spoon Theory: What You Need to Know About Living with Chronic Illness

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | March 10, 2023

Spoon theory isn’t a dissertation on how spoons work. It’s a metaphor for the amount of energy that a person has on any given day. The concept began in the disability community 20 years ago and has been popular ever since, especially with people who suffer from autoimmune and chronic illness, like lupus, fibromyalgia, or […]

The Fawn Response

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | December 9, 2022

Fight, Flight, Freeze……Fawn? Most people are familiar with the stress responses known as fight, flight, and freeze. These are natural responses to real, or perceived physical or emotional threats. These responses help us evade and manage threats and dangers we encounter to keep us safe. Have you heard of the fawn response? It’s less well […]

Bullying, Stress, Trauma

Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria: What You Need to Know

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | September 30, 2022

Most people are concerned with being liked and fear rejection by others, but those with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) are hypersensitive to this possibility and the repercussions are profound. A desire to be liked and accepted by others is a deeply embedded survival instinct and feeling rejected is a fundamentally distressing, and at times, quite […]

Finding Hope

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | July 8, 2022

How do we find hope when everything around us feels overwhelming and impossible? How do we get through the day when there has been so much loss for so many? How do we find the strength to raise our heads when we feel beaten down? I’ve often thought of hope as having a future orientation: […]

Beware of Doomscrolling

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | April 29, 2022

Staying current in the ever-changing world we live in is important, but how do we know how much information is too much? We can access information about world events from the palm of our hands, easily scrolling from one news source to the next. How do you know when you’ve consumed enough for one day? […]

How to Help Your Teen Become Their Own Person

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | February 7, 2022

Individuation is a crucial developmental phase that starts in early adolescence. During this time teens and young adults begin to assert their own independent identity and establish a cohesive sense of self. Physician and psychiatrist Margaret Mahler describes this period of development as follows: “The child’s life begins in a symbiotic relationship with their primary caregiver before […]

Parenting, Relationships, Teens