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Helped Better: Why the Therapeutic Relationship Matters

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | August 21, 2026

You have probably seen online ads about affordable, quick access therapy with the convenience of never leaving home. For some, an online therapy platform may be the best or only option, especially when the alternative is receiving no help at all. However, quick access therapy is not the same as receiving the right type of […]

Finding Meaning of Pain and Suffering

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | March 20, 2026

Pain is an inevitable part of being human. Whether we welcome it or resist it, it is woven into the fabric of life, sometimes showing up in ways we expect and in ways we don’t. And while pain itself is something we all experience, suffering is something different. It is shaped by how we make […]

How to Make Decisions with Confidence

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | January 9, 2026

Every day, we make countless decisions. Some are automatic, like what to eat for breakfast, and others are more complex like career changes, relationship choices, or how to respond in a moment of crisis. Some people carefully weigh the pros and cons, while others rely on intuition or even the flip of a coin. No […]

Own Your Weird: It’s not an Insult – It’s a Superpower!

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | September 26, 2025

Weirdo. Freak. Special. Oddball. Unconventional. Strange. Offbeat. Have you ever been called any of these? Many of us have – maybe growing up, or maybe just last week. Maybe you even use some of these terms to describe yourself. Or perhaps your child has been labeled this way. These words aren’t often meant kindly, and […]

Privacy vs. Secrecy

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | June 13, 2025

Why the Difference Matters More Than You Think Have you ever felt uneasy about keeping something to yourself – but also uncomfortable with the idea of sharing it? If so, you’re not alone. Privacy and secrecy are often confused, but they’re not the same – and understanding the difference can set the foundation for […]

Personal Improvement, Relationships

Am I a People Pleaser or Just a Nice Person?

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | March 7, 2025

Have you ever found yourself agreeing to something you didn’t want to do, just to avoid disappointing someone, and then wondered – am I a people pleaser or just a nice person? The truth is the distinction between being a people pleaser and simply being kind can be more nuanced than you might think. People […]

Thought Crimes: Why Your Thoughts Don’t Define You

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | December 6, 2024

Have you even beaten yourself up, judged yourself, or felt ashamed for having a thought that might upset others if you shared it with them? Does thinking poorly about someone make you a bad person? Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung was among the first to grapple with these concepts, which are referred to as “thought crimes.” […]

Understanding Religious Trauma and Its Effects

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | September 6, 2024

Trauma refers to the profound emotional and psychological impact that occurs when an individual’s sense of safety is compromised and their ability to cope is overwhelmed. Such experiences often shatter a person’s sense of security, which can have lasting physical, emotional, and psychological effects. Trauma can arise from a wide array of experiences and is […]

I’m an Accomplice

By: Michael Toohey, Psy.D. | June 7, 2024

Long before I was a psychologist, I was a volunteer and worked with all sorts of queer people. I remember volunteering in Hawaii almost 30 years ago, and one of the local volunteers was a trans woman. She was in the process of transitioning, and to get the “approval” of a psychiatrist to fully transition, […]