Thought Crimes: Why Your Thoughts Don’t Define You

Have you even beaten yourself up, judged yourself, or felt ashamed for having a thought that might upset others if you shared it with them? Does thinking poorly about someone make you a bad person? Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung was among the first to grapple with these concepts, which are referred to as “thought crimes.”

A thought crime, in this context, is the idea that having certain thoughts or impulses could be considered wrong or even morally corrupt. Jung suggested that the act of judging yourself based on these internal thoughts even though knowing you would never act on them could hinder personal growth and keep you from becoming your true self.

For example, let’s say you got pulled over for a traffic ticket, and you think something wicked about the officer, but you say nothing. Does thinking this make you a bad person? Many people whose thoughts conflict with their ideal self-image would say it does. A person’s self-worth can take a beating when their inner thoughts are compared with their external behaviors. What we never see are others’ similar thoughts and their internal impulses that never get acted on. In other words, we see the final draft, but rarely have a chance to reference a more disparate version of the “first draft.”

How Being Hard on Yourself Holds You Back

We all have a relationship to and with ourselves. Many folx are harder on themselves than with others. We tend to create special rules for ourselves while never thinking that we would impose those same rules on others. We often set unrealistically high expectations for ourselves – standards that we don’t hold others to.

When we judge ourselves harshly, we often fail to consider the full context or the broader narrative of our lives. We can be quick to criticize ourselves for a single moment, thought, or mistake, without acknowledging the complex circumstances, past experiences, or pressures that shape who we truly are. It’s easy to ignore the layers of our personal history, struggles, and growth in our rush to judge ourselves.

The person who knows you best is yourself. You are the only one who knows your history, your trauma, your challenges, everything you’ve been through. By recognizing the broader context of our lives, we can practice more compassion and understanding, allowing us to move away from harsh self-criticism and towards a more balanced, empathetic view of ourselves.

What if we set expectations for ourselves that are based on the expectations we have for others? Would we have more compassion and empathy for ourselves? Would we be able to forgive ourselves to the same degree as we forgive others? We often feel bad when we fall short of unrealistic expectations that we set for ourselves, and yet at the same time, rarely give ourselves credit when we’re doing well.

RuPaul calls these types of thoughts our “inner saboteur.” The inner saboteur represents all the doubts, insecurities, expectations, and limiting beliefs that prevent us from doing our best. These critical thoughts are a clear example of how we often become our own harshest critic. When we beat ourselves up, we give the inner critic power. And we use our “thought crimes” as supporting evidence for the inner critic.

How to Be Kinder to Your Inner Critic

Do you talk to your friends the way you talk to yourself? Probably not! So, why the disparity? If we can extend compassion and empathy to others, we can surely do the same for ourselves. Next time you hear your inner critic, pretend that you are hearing this from a friend, and think about what you would say to them. Are you being harsh or caring? Judgmental or empathic?

Treat yourself like you treat a friend. Stand up to your inner bully by countering that voice with arguments to the contrary. Challenge doubts with evidence-based thinking. If the harsh inner critic says you did well on an exam because you got lucky that day, talk back to it by saying, “I know I wasn’t just lucky to get an ‘A’ on that exam because I studied for it.”

If you recognize that you are wrestling with uncomfortable thoughts, please consider seeking professional mental health treatment with a San Diego Psychologist. Your therapist can help you address the worry, shame, and doubt that these critical thoughts can generate. Battling with an inner critic can feel incredibly draining as you constantly question your worth or abilities. Working with a trained therapist can help you lift that emotional weight by learning skills to stand up to your critical thoughts. Knowing that you’re not alone on the journey and that someone is in your corner can make all the difference.

Finding the right therapist is likely easier than you think. At Therapy Changes, we have a Client Care Coordinator who will connect you with a talented therapist on our Team who is trained in action-oriented approaches to help you learn skills to address uncomfortable thoughts. Contact Us today to discover the Benefits of Working with a Private Practice Therapist and schedule an appointment. We look forward to hearing from you.

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