Self-Care Made Simple With GRAPES

Self-neglect and self-loathing are out, and self-care is in! Everyone from celebrities to doctors, morning shows, and even business publications promote the need for improved self-care practices. It’s no surprise that giving yourself some personal time helps lessen stress. Research shows that practicing self-care daily has a profound effect on both our mental and physical health, including lowering the risk of heart disease, stroke, and cancer. People who regularly engage in self-care practices are more productive, self-confident, and happy.

For many of us, self-care can often feel unattainable, especially if your image of self-care looks like spa days, long bubble baths, and lengthy skincare trends promoted by influencers. Relying solely on this version of self-care leads us to believe that in order to nurture ourselves we must disconnect from each other and our lives.

I propose a different approach to self-care that is focused on balancing important activities and practicing gratitude for small moments of pleasure.

A Balanced Approach to Self-Care

When self-care feels out of our reach and we don’t know where to start, use GRAPES! GRAPES is an acronym originally developed to help ease symptoms of depression by increasing pleasurable activities. When someone feels depressed, they are less likely to engage in pleasant activities that could lift their mood. Using GRAPES can help you schedule pleasant activities, which can increase opportunities to experience joy, mastery, and connection with others. I find this skill to be helpful for many of my clients, as it provides an easy and accessible structure for how to find balance in daily activities.

What is GRAPES?

GRAPES is an acronym to help you find balanced self-care. To practice it effectively, each day challenge yourself to engage in one activity from each of the following categories:

• Gentle with Self: Cultivate a practice of self-compassion by turning off your internal critic. Instead of criticizing yourself, offer yourself encouragement, drop unrealistic expectations, and learn the power of saying ‘no’ to things that you don’t have time for. This can also include basic self-care activities like eating healthy, staying hydrated and practice good sleep hygiene to get a good night’s sleep.
• Relaxation: Do something that helps your body and mind reduce stress and feel a sense of calm. Most of us need to learn how to relax our bodies, so practicing even when we feel good still helps! Take a few deep breaths, meditate, or self-sooth using your 5 senses. Don’t know where to start with relaxation exercises? That’s okay – there’s an app for that!
• Accomplishment: Checking a task off your to-do list isn’t just a relief, it can also boost your self-confidence. Give yourself credit for washing the dishes, doing laundry, or paying that bill. When you are really struggling, get comfortable with being a beginner by acknowledging the little wins like washing your hair or preparing a healthy meal.
• Pleasure: We often forget the importance of having fun, but research shows that playfulness can improve your creativity, helps build healthy relationships, and increase resilience. So, make it a priority to listen to music for mental health, visit your favorite place, try a new food, or give yourself permission to play that game!
• Exercise: When you move your body in a healthy way, blood flow increases to your brain, and releases feel-good hormones called endorphins. Start small and drop the guilt about how much you “should” be exercising. There are benefits of just getting outside to enjoy the benefits of Vitamin D for mental health. Small changes like taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or walking your dog an extra block, can add up.
• Socialize: Research demonstrates the importance of social connection on mental and physical health. You can unmask loneliness by making an effort to stay connected to the people in your life, whether you talk or text. If you don’t feel up to talking about yourself, offer an ear to someone else. Ask the cashier at the grocery store how their day is going and really listen. Smile or wave at a neighbor.

Get Started Now

Starting a new routine isn’t easy, and self-care doesn’t always feel good. Aim to schedule one activity per day for each category of GRAPES. The skill tends to work best if you plan what you will focus on in advance (and it can give you something to look forward to!) Don’t overcommit yourself – ideally, GRAPES shouldn’t consume your entire day. Instead, allow it to serve as a guidepost to balanced living. Take note if a GRAPES category is frequently neglected, and if so, make it a priority next time.

If GRAPES seems a bit overwhelming at first, you aren’t alone. Over time, clients who practice GRAPES describe it as instinctual and a new way of life. Working with a San Diego psychologist at Therapy Changes will help you navigate through the obstacles that may lie in your way. There are many benefits of working with a private practice therapist, such as building a personal, trusting relationship and creating a plan for healing that is tailored to you. Contact us today to schedule an appointment with a talented member of our team.

I hope that using GRAPES helps you to develop and sustain a more manageable practice of self-care. You can do this!

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash