Mindfulness…the Loving Kind

Written by Joy Francisco, Ph.D.

What is mindfulness? And why is there a special loving kind of mindfulness?

Mindfulness is living in the present moment. Mindfulness can be utilized as a form of self-compassion. And, self-compassion is what you need to nourish your mind, body, and soul. Together they help you to love yourself and your life through the connection to the present moment.

How to Practice Loving Mindfulness

Breathe Awareness into the Moment

Practicing self-care and setting boundaries become easier when you are aware. As you set boundaries with other people, you also have to set them with yourself. Why? Because boundaries are about honoring your needs. Gaining clarity on your boundaries allows you to practice self-compassion and self-respect.

Live in the Present

Attention to the moment at hand gives you an opportunity to know how people make you feel and assess what your needs are. When you know what you need for being your best self, you are much better at showing up as that person in your relationships with others.

Release Judgment

It is easy to feel as if you are not doing enough for yourself. Being kinder to yourself starts with taking steps to think of yourself in a more positive light. Sometimes, the effort alone is what really counts. Every step taken to get closer to where you want to be is worth celebrating. This helps you focus on the good. Celebrate the small wins. When you do, you are acknowledging the effort you put in and, in turn, increasing your self-confidence.

How to Become Your Best Self

An Exercise

Imagine your life five years from now living as you would like to be, according to your values. What are you doing? Who is in your life? Where are you living?

1. Write a letter from the future to someone important to you (living or dead, known or unknown) describing your life, as it is at that time, in detail. Take as long as you need, making the letter as concrete as possible.
2. Read over the letter and extract three values that are important to you.
3. Rate each value on a scale from 0 to 10 (with 10 being accomplished) to indicate how likely this life you would like to be living is possible.
4. Set an affirmation for each value. The more energy and passion you put into your affirmation, the more effective it will be. Use words that inspire and empower you.
5. Create actionable steps, including small, concrete things you could do in the next 48 hours to bring you closer to that life. Ensure that the tasks are stated in positive and behavioral terms. Make sure that they are achievable!

Exercises such as this one can bring awareness and intention to how you are living. They can help you focus on cultivating who you want to be from a place of kindness and self-compassion.

Image: Wall Boat on flickr and reproduced under Creative Commons 2.0