How to Make Decisions with Confidence

Every day, we make countless decisions. Some are automatic, like what to eat for breakfast, and others are more complex like career changes, relationship choices, or how to respond in a moment of crisis. Some people carefully weigh the pros and cons, while others rely on intuition or even the flip of a coin. No matter how you make decisions, your values are one of the most powerful and often overlooked guides. Understanding your values can bring clarity, confidence, and a deeper sense of alignment when life feels uncertain or overwhelming.

What Are Values, Really?

Personal values are core beliefs or principles that guides your choices, actions, and priorities. They help shape how you see the world and how you move through it. Pause for a moment and ask yourself: What do I truly value? You might think of things like honesty, family, independence, creativity, faith, compassion, achievement, or community. As an exercise, write out as many as you like. Next, ask yourself where these values came from. Were they shaped by your family, culture, religion, or early experiences? Just because we were raised with certain values doesn’t mean that we are required to hold onto all of them forever. Part of growth is deciding which values still feel authentic and which ones may no longer fit.

How Values Show Up in Everyday Life

Our values often reveal themselves through what we admire in others, how we treat people, and the choices we make day to day.

For example:

• Valuing independence may influence career decisions
• Valuing community may shape your friendships and social circles
• Valuing beauty may guide creative or aesthetic choices
• Valuing kindness may show up in small gestures, like offering a smile or checking in on someone

Over time, values can become daily practices. If you value gratitude, you may naturally look for moments of appreciation throughout your day. If you value compassion, you may feel drawn to helping roles or supportive relationships.

When You Are Not Sure What Your Values Are

Some people struggle to identify their values, and that’s completely okay. If so, try making a list with a few columns:

• Values you believe you hold
• Values your parents or caregivers emphasized
• Values tied to any religion or culture you grew up with
• Values you feel uncertain or conflicted about

How to Navigate Values Conflicts

At times, values can conflict with one another. A classic example is the question: Is it wrong to steal? And what if stealing is the only way to feed your starving family? In this case, legality and ethics collide, forcing us to weigh competing values like honesty, responsibility, and preserving life.

Sometimes, values such as truthfulness and kindness can also compete. You might choose a gentle, low-stakes omission to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. In these moments, context matters. Ask yourself if this is a one-time situation or part of a larger pattern.

When you feel stuck, it can help to slow down and reflect on the following points:

• Which values are in conflict right now?
• What does each value mean to me personally?
• Why does each one matter in this situation?

Most values are not fixed in a strict hierarchy. Their importance can shift depending on circumstances. When deciding, it may be helpful to consider your long-term goals, the kind of person you want to be, and which choice is most likely to reduce regret later. Choosing one value does not mean you are betraying another. It simply means you are responding thoughtfully to what is needed right now.

Let Your Values Guide the Way

Knowing your values can make decision-making feel less overwhelming and more grounded. Values support goal-setting, motivation, healthy boundaries, and a stronger sense of self. When you understand what matters most to you, choices tend to feel clearer, even when they are difficult. If you find yourself feeling stuck, conflicted, or disconnected from your values, working with a San Diego psychologist can help you explore these questions with curiosity and compassion, and develop practical, evidence-based tools to support meaningful change. Our Client Care Coordinator is here to thoughtfully match you with a talented member of our team who aligns with your goals, preferences, and needs. Contact us today to schedule an appointment and take the next step toward making choices that support your well-being and growth. We are here to help you feel more grounded, confident, and aligned with what matters most.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash